Whether your marriage has lasted for a few years or several decades, the decision to seek a divorce is often a significant and difficult one. Even if you and your spouse both realize that ending the marriage is ultimately the best decision for moving forward, navigating the divorce process in Washington state can seem overwhelming and intimidating. From the logistical decisions you will need to make to the strong emotions that are a natural part of walking away from a long-term relationship, it’s understandable to feel confused and exhausted at the prospect of moving through each step of the divorce process. Fortunately, you do not have to make every decision on your own. Enlisting the guidance and support of an experienced and caring Seattle divorce and family law attorney is highly recommended to ensure that you have the information you need to make each decision with greater clarity and confidence. Knowing that you have a dedicated legal advocate by your side often gives you the reassurance you are looking for during this otherwise daunting time.
While a highly qualified Seattle divorce lawyer can assist you with any number of matters, an area where they can provide much-needed support is child custody determinations. In Washington state, divorcing parents are tasked with creating a parenting plan, which outlines the roles and responsibilities of each parent and provides details about decision-making processes and dispute resolution plans. Whether you and your spouse are able to collaborate and establish a parenting plan that protects your child’s best interests or you need more formal guidance to help you resolve disagreements along the way, having a trusted and highly skilled attorney by your side ensures that your questions are answered and your concerns are addressed at every opportunity. If you have a teenager, establishing child custody arrangements can be particularly challenging, as they may have strong opinions about these matters. Let’s take a closer look at how teenage custody preferences in Washington state can influence parenting plans and the steps you can take to resolve a teenager custody dispute if it should arise during the divorce process.
In any court proceeding that involves minors, Washington laws prioritize the best interests of the child above everything else. According to RCW 26.09.002, “In any proceeding between parents under this chapter, the best interests of the child shall be the standard by which the court determines and allocates the parties’ parental responsibilities.” In other words, any judge overseeing a divorce case or helping to put a parenting plan in place will use several factors to determine whether the proposed plan supports the child’s best interests as much as possible. The statute continues by clarifying that “The best interests of the child are served by a parenting arrangement that best maintains a child’s emotional growth, health and stability, and physical care.” Moreover, the court will usually attempt to minimize any disruptions to the child’s routine in order for them to enjoy a stable and secure environment—especially during the challenging circumstances of a divorce. For instance, the judge may seek to establish a parenting plan that ensures that the child spends the majority of their time in the care of the parent who plans on remaining in the family home once the divorce is finalized. This also allows the child to continue attending the same school and remain connected to the neighborhood community, which minimizes disruptions and provides stability and continuity in the midst of the divorce.
Generally speaking, children under the age of 18 cannot make their own decisions regarding custody (i.e., they do not have the legal authority to choose with whom and where they want to live). Instead, the parents and the court are tasked with making these important decisions, relying on multiple factors to arrive at a solution that best protects and serves the child’s best interests. Although a teenager may not have the legal authority to choose which parent they intend to live with for the majority of the time, their voice still carries weight and influences the overall decision-making process. Below are just a few of the ways in which a young adult’s preferences can affect child custody and parenting plan determinations in Washington state.
First, it’s important to understand the reasoning behind a teenager’s residential preferences. While a seemingly mature 17-year-old may exhibit a strong preference to live with one parent over the other, it may be because this parent promised or bribed the child to express this wish. The court is very concerned about parental influence or other forms of manipulation during child custody determinations, which is why a judge does not take the child’s stated preference as the automatic decision. Instead, even a younger child who has put much thought into their preferences can share their wishes with the court, and the judge can incorporate this information into a larger, more comprehensive set of factors that are used to determine the outcome.
Many years ago, courts tended to award custody to mothers, as the perception at the time was that children were better able to thrive in the care of their mothers. However, a significant body of research has since revealed that children benefit from spending time with both parents after the divorce. According to one recent review of multiple studies published by the American Psychological Association (APA), “Children from divorced families who either live with both parents at different times or spend certain amounts of time with each parent are better adjusted in most cases than children who live and interact with just one parent.” With this in mind, Washington courts seek to establish custody arrangements and parenting plans that allow the child to enjoy opportunities to cultivate meaningful relationships with each parent after the divorce is finalized. If there is a credible reason that one parent is unable to provide a safe and secure living environment for the child, the court may award full custody to the other parent (at least until the “unsafe” parent is able to receive the treatment or services they need to care for their child again in a safe manner). So, while the court may listen to a teenager’s preferences about which parent they want to live with, it will consider the larger picture and seek to establish a plan that encourages the child to spend time with both parents whenever possible.
When approaching child custody cases, the court will avoid asking the child directly to express their preferences. Instead, a judge may decide to meet privately with the child to provide a safe space in which the child can share their thoughts and concerns without worrying about upsetting the parents or hurting their feelings. In some cases, the court may appoint a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) or Custody Evaluator to work with the child and represent their best interests during these proceedings. Essentially, these professionals meet with the child, observe them interacting with their family members, interview relevant parties, and review the details of the case in order to determine how best to support the child’s best interests. The GAL or Custody Evaluator then makes their recommendations to the court, which can then be used to establish a parenting plan or child custody order. If you have questions about the role of these professionals, reach out to an experienced and caring Seattle child custody lawyer to learn more.
Child custody determinations are often the most emotional and fraught aspects of the divorce process. Both parents care deeply about their child, and these discussions can turn heated quickly. If you are struggling with these negotiations, it’s essential that you recognize the sources of support that you can rely on during this challenging time. For instance, if your teenager is saying that they would prefer to live with the other parent, this can feel incredibly painful and add to the stress you are already feeling. Meeting with a mental health therapist who understands family dynamics and parent-child relationships can help you find some ways of processing your emotions and moving through these challenging discussions with your teen. Some people find it helpful to meet with a family psychologist alongside their teen in order to improve communication and forge a supportive dynamic between child and parent. Or, if your teen is telling you that they are interested in modifying a parenting plan in Washington, you can discuss your options with a trusted and experienced Seattle family law and divorce attorney.
At the Hemmat Law Group, we understand how challenging family disputes can be. That’s why we are committed to serving every client with the care, empathy, and attention they deserve during this vulnerable and overwhelming time. If you are struggling with a child custody dispute or other family law matter, we encourage you to contact our Seattle, Washington office today at (206) 682-5200 to get started with an experienced and compassionate family law and divorce attorney.