Essential Tips for Achieving an Amicable Divorce in Seattle

When you marry your partner, the last thing on your mind is the failure of your relationship. Weddings are causes for celebration and optimism, as you and your spouse begin your journey together. However, the reality is that approximately half of all marriages end in divorce or legal separation, whether the marriage ends after several decades or only a few months. According to the most recent estimates, the average length of a marriage prior to divorce is eight years. As compatible as you and your spouse may seem at the beginning of your relationship, time may reveal fundamental differences that threaten the longevity of your marriage. Disputes about finances, differing views on having children, infidelity, or other issues may arise over time, making divorce your best option for moving forward. Although some marriages end because of a specific reason or underlying incident, many couples simply drift apart and arrive at the decision that divorce offers both parties a much-needed path forward. 

Those unfamiliar with the divorce process in Washington state may picture a contentious courtroom battle, which can seem intimidating and costly. However, many divorces are able to remain amicable from start to finish, eschewing the need for litigation altogether. Alternative dispute resolution (ADR) services, such as mediation and arbitration, allow divorcing couples to work through the terms of their divorce without the need to appear in court. No matter what path you choose to end your marriage, consider enlisting the guidance of an experienced and caring Seattle amicable divorce attorney who can support your best interests at every turn. This post will explore some tips and strategies for achieving an amicable divorce in the Seattle area, empowering you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse to make informed decisions with greater certainty and confidence. 

Understanding the Amicable Divorce Process in Washington

First, it’s important to recognize that the term “amicable divorce” does not mean that you and your spouse have to be in great spirits at every moment of the divorce process. No one expects you to be on excellent terms with your spouse as you work to dissolve your marriage. However, an amicable divorce requires the parties to commit to working collaboratively to achieve their common goal—ending the marriage. Both parties must agree to open and honest communication as they negotiate the terms of their divorce. Disagreements may arise at any point, and your divorce attorney can help you work through these disputes as productively and efficiently as possible. Alternative dispute resolution services can facilitate an encouraging and safe environment for divorcing parties to work through the terms of their legal separation, such as negotiating the division of property or developing a parenting plan that puts the needs of the children first. Below is a brief overview of the amicable divorce process in Washington state so you can envision the steps you will likely need to take to achieve your desired outcome.

Completing and Filing the Divorce Paperwork

Either spouse may file for divorce in Washington at any time. If you and your partner have mutually agreed to end your marriage, you can complete the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage forms together and file the completed paperwork with the court. If you have children, you will also need to create a Parenting Plan that addresses which parent the child will live with most of the time, how much time the child will spend with each parent, how the parents will make important decisions about the child, and how the parents will resolve any disagreement that may arise in the future. 

Participating in Divorce Mediation

Even couples who have agreed to pursue an amicable divorce will likely encounter disagreements as they work through the terms of their divorce. Mediation offers a supportive environment in which the parties are encouraged to resolve each disagreement as it arises with the help and guidance of a neutral third party, known as the mediator. The mediator’s role is to facilitate open and honest communication between the parties (and their respective divorce attorneys), urging them to move toward their common goals. Many people who participate in divorce mediation find the process to be a productive and even empowering experience, as they are able to actively shape the terms of their amicable divorce agreement. Once the mediator has guided the parties through every aspect of the divorce, the agreement is submitted to the court for final approval. 

Other Options for Ending Your Marriage in Washington State

Although mediation works well for many divorcing couples in the Seattle area, it is not the only way to obtain a divorce. Your divorce attorney can help you explore whether arbitration may be more conducive to helping you achieve your goals. Arbitration is similar to mediation, in that the process occurs outside the courtroom and allows both parties to present their priorities to an arbitrator. Arbitration tends to be slightly more formal than mediation, but it still allows the parties to take more active roles in shaping the terms of the divorce agreement. 

In some cases, litigation may be your best option for ending the marriage. Divorces that involve allegations of domestic violence or abuse often require litigation, as protective orders may be necessary to keep one party safe from an abusive spouse during this tumultuous time. No matter what path your divorce takes, working with a dedicated and empathetic Seattle divorce lawyer is the best way to ensure that your best interests are protected at every turn.

Strategies For Obtaining an Amicable Divorce in Washington State

Most divorcing couples want to move through this legal process as smoothly and painlessly as possible. As you begin to explore your options for ending your marriage in the greater Seattle area, it’s important to identify some strategies for keeping the divorce as amicable and productive as you can. Consider implementing some of the following tips to maximize your chances of a smooth and successful amicable divorce.

Focus on Your Shared Goals

It’s easy to lose sight of larger goals once you and your spouse start arguing over who gets to keep certain household items. The minute details of the divorce can become overwhelming, making it hard to remember that you are both working toward the same goal—ending your marriage and laying separate foundations for your newly independent lives. Before you begin the divorce process, take some time to articulate your shared goals. It can be helpful to revisit these goals when disagreements arise, as these larger goals can inspire you to work through arguments in ways that support the bigger picture. 

Articulate Your Priorities

While you and your spouse may share the common goal of ending your marriage as amicably as possible, it’s equally important to articulate your individual goals and priorities. For example, you may have put your career on hold during your marriage in order to maintain your home or raise your children. As you lay the foundation for your post-divorce life, your priority may be to become financially stable as you look for employment or attend classes to make yourself more marketable. As you and your attorney move through the divorce process, you can root your negotiations and conversations in these priorities to ensure that the amicable divorce agreement supports your goals.

Commit to Open Communication and Transparency 

Amicable divorces do not work without a commitment from both parties to communicate openly and honestly at all times. It’s not unheard of for one spouse to attempt to conceal financial information or hide certain assets from the other spouse during the divorce process. Unfortunately, these underhanded tactics erode trust and prevent the couple from obtaining a fair and amicable divorce. If you and your spouse are serious about wanting to keep your divorce amicable, then you both need to commit to open communication and transparency at every stage of the mediation process. Share every document with one another to ensure that you are making decisions in good faith. 

Prioritize the Best Interests of Your Children

Conversations about your children are often the most challenging part of the divorce process. Naturally, you want to establish a parenting plan that gives you as much time with your children as possible. However, denying your children the opportunity to spend time with their other parent does not support their best interests. As you negotiate the terms of the parenting plan, prioritize the needs of your children above your own wishes. Ultimately, children thrive when they are able to enjoy quality time with both parents (unless, of course, one parent puts them at risk somehow—which happens in rare circumstances). Washington courts favor parenting plans and child custody agreements that facilitate meaningful relationships between the child and both parents. 

Remember That Divorce is Not About Winning

It’s easy to get swept up in all of these major decisions. However, try to maintain a mindset that’s not based on “winning” your divorce. Instead, refocus on your shared goals of ending your marriage while preserving an amicable relationship with your spouse. An amicable divorce, when approached with care and purpose, enables both parties to move forward with as much support and goodwill as possible. Consider contacting a dedicated Seattle divorce attorney today to learn more about amicable divorce settlements and whether this approach will help you achieve your desired outcome. 

The dedicated divorce and family law attorneys at the Hemmat Law Group are ready to help you achieve your goals. Reach out to our Seattle office today at (206) 682-5200 to get started with a highly qualified amicable divorce lawyer who will empower you to make informed decisions with greater clarity and confidence.