Can I Start Dating Someone Else Before My Divorce is Official in Seattle?

When a marriage or long-term partnership runs its course, divorce can offer a stable path forward that allows both parties to begin the next chapters of their lives with the financial foundation they need. Whether your marriage has lasted for a few months or you and your spouse have been together for several decades, the prospect of divorce can be daunting and overwhelming. Not only are you coping with a range of emotions (i.e., grief, sadness, or even relief), but the prospect of working your way through a seemingly endless list of steps before the divorce is finalized can add considerable stress to an already disorienting time. As you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse start working through the negotiations and complex discussions about property division, spousal maintenance, and other aspects of your divorce, you may wonder whether starting a new relationship during divorce is even possible. Perhaps you have met someone new, and you are interested in dating them, but you are concerned about how dating during your divorce could affect the outcome. Many people are worried that dating someone while going through a divorce could impede their ability to obtain a fair and favorable settlement or that being in a new relationship could negatively affect their child custody rights or parenting time. 

In Washington state, dating before your divorce is final is legally allowed. However, there are several emotional and financial considerations to recognize as you navigate this challenging time. At the Hemmat Law Group, our dedicated team of legal professionals and mental health strategists is ready to help you understand your options and support you along your path to the finalization of your divorce and the start of your life’s next chapter. Let’s take a look at some of the potential implications of dating someone new during the divorce process so you can make informed choices and decisions with greater certainty and confidence.

Understanding No-Fault Divorce in Washington State

Before we begin discussing the potential impacts of starting a new relationship during divorce, it’s worth taking some time to understand Washington’s no-fault divorce system. Essentially, this means that neither spouse is required to prove that their partner is to blame or engaged in wrongdoing to obtain a divorce. Under the no-fault system, either spouse may file for divorce at any time without needing to cite a specific reason for doing so. Under RCW 26.09.030, the party filing for divorce need only cite that the marriage or domestic partnership is “irretrievably broken” in order to move forward with their request. The court must make decisions about the terms of the divorce in a way that is “fair and equitable” to both parties, which means that it cannot consider accusations of infidelity or other failures of one party when making its determinations. Simply put, infidelity itself is not explicitly considered relevant to the court’s decisions regarding spousal maintenance, the division of marital assets, or child custody arrangements. However, dating someone while going through a divorce may affect the process and outcome in indirect or more subtle ways. 

Can You Date Someone While Going Through a Divorce in Seattle?

New relationships can enter our lives at any time—even when it’s inconvenient. If you have met someone new, it’s natural to ask yourself the question, “Can I date someone while going through a divorce?” The answer is yes, at least from a legal standpoint. There are no laws in Washington state that prevent you from beginning a new romantic relationship while you move through the divorce or legal separation process. For that matter, continuing a relationship that began while you were still married will not enable the court to deny you a fair and equitable portion of the marital assets. However, there are still some indirect ways that dating before the divorce is finalized may subtly affect your divorce outcome. Below are some of the ways that infidelity or dating someone new could impact some of the aspects of your divorce in Washington state.

Property Division

One of the most time-consuming steps of the divorce process is determining a fair and equitable division of property. As a “community property” state, Washington views all property acquired by either party during the course of the marriage to belong equally to both spouses. Therefore, both parties are entitled to their fair share of the marital assets as they negotiate a just division of property. The court may weigh factors like the length and duration of the marriage, the financial situations and needs of both parties, the types of assets the parties own (both jointly and separately), and the best interests of any children (if applicable). The court cannot use a spouse’s alleged “misconduct” (i.e., infidelity) to influence its decisions regarding the allocation of property during divorce proceedings. However, certain behaviors relating to your decision to date someone new as you move to end your marriage may complicate discussions during the divorce process. For example, if you have used money from your joint savings to buy expensive jewelry or other gifts for someone you were dating while you were married, the court may consider this a dissipation of marital assets. In other words, if dating someone else has affected your joint finances, this could be taken into account during the divorce settlement negotiations.

Spousal Maintenance

Washington state recognizes that there are situations where a divorce may wreak havoc on one spouse’s financial stability. For instance, a spouse who gave up a career in order to raise children, maintain the home, or volunteer in the community will likely struggle with economic hardship when they can no longer rely on their spouse’s income. In such cases, the court may award spousal maintenance, which compels the higher-earning spouse to provide financial support to the lower-earning spouse to ease the transition to their post-divorce reality. Although the court may not use marital misconduct or infidelity on its own to determine a spousal maintenance agreement, a significant dissipation of marital assets could influence the court’s ultimate decision in subtle or indirect ways. Enlisting the guidance of a trusted and empathetic Seattle divorce attorney is the best way to access the customized legal support you need to move forward.

Child Custody and Parenting Plans

Can dating during divorce affect custody in Washington state? State laws prioritize the child’s best interests when determining custody arrangements and establishing parenting plans. One parent’s infidelity is not by itself a decisive factor in child custody determinations. However, if the new dating partner endangers the child’s welfare or threatens their safety in any way, the court may use this information when establishing child custody arrangements. For instance, if the new dating partner has a history of domestic abuse, the court can use this information to create a parenting plan that protects the child’s well-being and minimizes their exposure to a potentially unsafe parental figure. You can learn more about child custody and parenting plan matters when you reach out to the dedicated and trusted team of legal professionals and mental health strategists at the Hemmat Law Group. We’re here to support you at every opportunity as you seek to move into a bright and stable future.

Emotional Considerations of Dating During Divorce

Another important aspect of starting a new relationship during the divorce process is understanding the emotional impact of this endeavor. Divorce itself is often a complicated and overwhelming emotional experience. Even if you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are in agreement about ending the marriage, it’s natural to mourn and grieve the loss of this important relationship. Giving yourself the time and space to work through these emotions is healthy, as bottling up, avoiding, or distracting yourself from feeling any “unwanted” emotions can trigger anxiety, stress, and other adverse outcomes. If you are throwing yourself into a new relationship because you are hoping to avoid grieving a failed marriage, you may find yourself feeling depleted or even more isolated in the long run. Additionally, your new dating partner may feel ignored or neglected while your attention is frequently wrenched away from them during the demanding divorce process. The decision to date while going through the divorce process is inherently personal, and every situation is different. However, it’s essential that you recognize the reasons why you are running into a new relationship at this moment in time and whether doing so will deplete you or help you heal and move forward. 

Get Started With a Caring and Trusted Seattle Attorney Today

At the Hemmat Law Group, we aim to provide comprehensive legal support that is customized to address the unique needs and goals of every client we serve. Our dedicated and highly experienced divorce lawyers are ready to advocate for your best interests at every turn and ensure that you have the solid foundation you need to enjoy your life’s next chapter. Moreover, our team of mental health strategists is here to support your emotional well-being as you navigate this challenging time. If you are looking for high-quality legal support during your divorce in Washington state, we encourage you to contact our office at your earliest convenience to get started.
The divorce process can seem overwhelming and confusing, which is why the dedicated legal team at the Hemmat Law Group is committed to providing every client with customized guidance and support during this challenging time. We invite you to call our Seattle office today at (206) 628-5200 to discuss your needs and goals with an experienced and caring divorce attorney.