What Qualifies as Harassment During Divorce in Washington State?

The ending of any long-term relationship tends to be an emotional experience for both parties. Even if you both feel that going your separate ways is the best way for you to move forward, the process of untangling your life from that of your spouse can trigger powerful feelings of loss, sadness, grief, anger, frustration, or failure. Although some amount of conflict is a natural part of the divorce process, like arguing about which of you will remain in your shared home or take custody of your pet, there are times when disagreements can escalate to the point of harassment or other forms of abuse. When someone feels powerless or angry about their spouse’s decision to seek a divorce in Washington state, they may engage in abusive behaviors in an attempt to intimidate or retaliate against the party filing for divorce. In fact, studies have shown that partner violence increases two to three years before divorce and peaks in the year prior to the divorce. The most risky and unsafe time for domestic violence survivors is the six to twelve months during which the divorce is filed. 

If you are filing for divorce in King County or Pierce County and your soon-to-be ex-spouse is subjecting you to harassment, stalking, manipulation, or emotional abuse, it’s essential to understand that you have options for addressing this behavior and protecting your safety during this challenging time. Enlisting the guidance of a highly experienced and caring Washington divorce attorney is highly recommended to ensure that your safety and well-being are sufficiently protected as you move through the divorce process. Let’s take a look at some of the most common forms of emotional abuse during divorce and how to seek a protection order during divorce to shield yourself from repeated harassment. 

How Washington State Defines Harassment

Most people have some idea of what harassment entails. Generally speaking, harassment occurs when someone knowingly and repeatedly contacts someone against their wishes—usually in an attempt to intimidate them or to exert control over them in some way. In Washington state, RCW 9A.46.020 defines harassment as any attempt by a person who knowingly threatens: “(i) To cause bodily injury immediately or in the future to the person threatened or to any other person; or (ii) To cause physical damage to the property of a person other than the actor; or (iii) To subject the person threatened or any other person to physical confinement or restraint; or (iv) Maliciously to do any other act which is intended to substantially harm the person threatened or another with respect to his or her physical health or safety.” While these are the criminal statutes for harassment, those subjected to harassment can go through the civil court system in Washington to obtain an order of protection. This is important to understand, as you can still seek legal protection without a pending criminal case against the party who is harassing or stalking you. Under RCW 7.105.100, there are several types of protection orders that are available, including “A petition for an antiharassment protection order, which must allege the existence of unlawful harassment committed against the petitioner or petitioners by the respondent.” According to the King County District Court, harassment “means someone has seriously alarmed, annoyed or harassed you, without a valid reason.” In other words, if you feel unsettled or unsafe by your ex’s constant attempts to contact you, or if you believe that you are being subjected to divorce threats in Washington state, you can work with your skilled and dedicated Seattle divorce attorney to identify the best legal protections to put in place. 

Recognizing Harassment and Emotional Abuse During Divorce

Physical violence tends to be simpler to identify than emotional abuse or psychological manipulation. Unfortunately, those who are subjected to emotional or psychological abuse often question whether the abuse is really happening, which can make it that much more difficult to identify, report, and address. For instance, your spouse may have isolated you from your family members, friends, and other sources of support, making it hard to leave an abusive situation. Or, your spouse may attempt to use emotional manipulation or threats in order to obtain a more favorable divorce agreement or settlement. Perhaps they reminded you that they could paint you as a “bad” or “dangerous” parent and take away your custodial rights if you do not comply with their requests. Other examples of harassment during divorce may include obsessively monitoring a spouse’s whereabouts or activities, controlling their finances, subjecting them to verbal abuse, or even manipulating the other person into questioning their own sanity (commonly referred to as “gaslighting”). Even if you are not completely certain that you have been subjected to stalking or abuse, it’s worth sharing your concerns with your experienced and compassionate restraining order attorney in Washington to understand your legal rights and evaluate your options. 

How to Document and Report Harassment During Divorce

Seeking the support of an experienced and caring King County divorce attorney can help you navigate the process of filing a protection order petition with the court. The more documentation and evidence you can provide along with the petition, the stronger your request will be. To that end, your attorney will help you collect, organize, and present as much compelling evidence as possible to ensure that your safety remains protected during this challenging time. For example, you can gather copies of threatening or obsessive digital communications, such as text messages, emails, and social media posts, to demonstrate how frequently the other party was contacting, threatening, or harassing you. You can also present voicemail audio to illustrate the obsessive and threatening nature of these communications. Since every situation is unique, it’s best to partner with your attorney to develop a customized strategy for gathering and submitting this critical information. 

Seeking Protection Orders in Washington State

It’s important to recognize that you may seek a protection order at any time, regardless of whether you are going through the divorce process. However, since divorce can be a highly stressful time for both parties, many orders of protection are requested as part of the dissolution or legal separation filing. In recent years, Washington state streamlined the protection order filing process to remove as many barriers as possible for survivors of domestic violence, stalking, or harassment. It’s highly recommended that you work alongside a knowledgeable and trusted Seattle family law attorney so that you can navigate the filing process with greater ease and confidence. Together, you can fill out the petition, have the other party served with the legal documents, and participate in the hearing. While the prospect of attending the hearing may seem daunting, you will have your caring and dedicated attorney by your side at all times to encourage and empower you at every step of the process. 

How Harassment Impacts Custody and Support Decisions in a Washington State Divorce

Once a protection order is granted, this document can greatly affect the respondent’s ability to seek full custody of any children. In other words, the court will make note of the existing protection order and use this information to determine the terms of the divorce. For instance, if you have obtained an order of protection against the other spouse for threatening you or your children, the court will likely hesitate to award full custodial rights to them due to concerns for your children’s safety. Although protection orders are essential protections for many survivors of domestic abuse, being named as the respondent can be an overwhelming and frightening experience. Before you panic and assume the worst, it’s important to understand that respondents will have the opportunity to appear at the hearing and explain their side of the story. The judge carefully reviews every detail of each case before arriving at a decision, so be sure to work with a highly experienced and knowledgeable Seattle divorce lawyer to maximize your chances of obtaining a fair outcome.

Reach Out to a Trusted Seattle Family Law Attorney Today 

Moving through the divorce process is understandably difficult for most people. However, those who are attempting to leave an abusive relationship or escape from an unsafe living situation often face additional concerns and challenges. As alone and intimidated as you may feel right now, it’s essential to recognize that you do not have to go through this daunting process alone. When you partner with a compassionate and experienced legal advocate, you can feel more confident in your decisions and face the future with greater hope. 

The divorce process can be an intense time for many people, and an abusive or controlling partner may subject you to threats or harassment as you try to move forward with your life. When you work with one of the dedicated and highly experienced divorce and family law attorneys at the Hemmat Law Group, you can feel confident that your best interests will remain protected at every opportunity. We can help you explore your options for obtaining legal protections against harassment, stalking, or abuse during this challenging time. Please reach out to our Seattle, Washington office today at (206) 682-5200 to get started with a caring and trusted divorce lawyer.