Parental Alienation

Custody disputes can be gruelling, and emotions can run high. In some custody battles, a parent may claim that the other parent is alienating them from their child; either by denying access, or where one parent is manipulating or coercing their child to create a hostile or distrustful relationship between the other parent and the child.

The concept of parental allienation is not always entertained by the courts, but some family courts in Washington Sate will listen to parental alienation claims as part of the custody proceedings.

Claims of parental alienation are difficult to defend against because the concept is so loosely defined, so it’s vital you speak with an experienced parental alienation lawyer for advice.

The term ‘estrangement’ is generally applied when the reasons for keeping a child away from their parent is considered more rationally justified. For example, if there has been a history of neglect, abuse, or unsafe behaviour from the estranged parent, it would be rational for the other parent to be concerned about that parent being solely responsible for the child. Parental alienation, on the other hand, is considered to be more irrational and emotionally motivated, and can involve manipulation of a child’s perception of their parent to create a rift, guilt, anger or confusion.

Washington State Courts will always seek what they believe is best for the child’s wellbeing in custody cases, and if a child is adamant about not seeing one parent, this will be considered. Alienation is also very difficult to substantiate in court for several reasons. The parent who is supposedly ‘alienating’ can simply claim that their child doesn’t want to spend time with the other parent, and they aren’t technically keeping their child away.

The best course of action if you suspect parental alienation tactics are being used is to speak to our parental alienation lawyers for advice.

It is hard to defend yourself against claims of parental alienation; the concept is loosely defined and subjective. There are steps that you can take, however, to prove your commitment to a healthy co-parenting relationship if your ex-spouse is alleging that you are alienating your child from them.

Although communicating with the other parent during a difficult divorce process can be hard, the key to your defence is to make sure that you are keeping those channels open when it comes to the welfare and activities of your children.

For example, let your ex-spouse know about your child’s extra-curricular and school activities. Share educational updates, medical appointment information and other relevant details related to your child’s life.

It is also important to speak without being derogatory about your ex-spouse around your child, as this could impact their perception of them. It is a good idea to have photographs of your ex available to your child, should your child want to look at them when away from their other parent. Document any communication with your ex as much as possible. Documentation of all of these reasonable and pro-active actions can be extremely helpful evidence against any claims of alienation in a custody battle.

Children are sometimes naturally closer with one parent than another, and during a contentious separation or custody battle, a child may naturally feel more aligned with one parent than another. While this might be really difficult and upsetting, it does not necessarily mean that a parent is encouraging their child to alienate themselves from the other parent.

That being said, there are also cases where parents deliberately create a rift or make it difficult for access for their ex to see their child.

If you are in this position, a good first step would be to speak with a parental alienation lawyer for guidance and share with them any evidence and information you have.

This could be in the form of witness statements, social media posts, direct communication, or even (if they are deemed old enough) your child’s own written documentation.

As you go through the process, we would advise you keep records of the any time you spend with your child. Also try to document conversations you have with your child, your ex-spouse and any other relevant family members, as well as friends or professionals who may be able to provide evidence to support your claim. Proving parental alienation is not straightforward, and having evidence is vital for your case.

The separation of a family and end of a relationship can be confusing and stressful for children. It can be a big adjustment that brings up big feelings, some of which may create behavior like anger, resentment, disinterest, or intense loyalty and attachment.

But, some signs from a child that they may have been pressured or manipulated to reject or alienate their parent include:

• – unusual or unexplained shift in their willingness to see or visit a parent, or the family and friends of that parent
• – talking about the negative traits of the parent, especially if they use language they have not used about that parent before
• – increased verbal or physical hostility towards their parent
• – talking very positively about the (alienating) parent
• – acting or speaking with hostility towards the parent, with no sense of guilt about their behavior
• – saying or acting like they have an alliance with the other parent
• – often asserting that all of these feelings and statements are their own, but then unable to provide a rationale to explain them when pressed further

Because of the emotive nature of these situations, and the difficulty to prove parental alientation, it’s important to speak to a parental alienation lawyer to help you define your case.

If parental alienation is interfering or undermining an existing custody order or child parenting plan, and the alienated parent can provide proof, the alienating parent may be found in contempt of court.

In these cases, Washington State courts will assess the evidence to determine whether a parent is responsible for willful alienation. The court will always consider the best interests of the children, but may decide to modify custody or visitation rights. They may also mandate parenting counselling for both parents, or require the alienating parent to undergo a psychological evaluation. Please speak to Hemmat Law’s parental alienation lawyers to talk through any concerns or further questions.